whitehairedprettyboy

[... He hadn't been expecting that. Raikov stares, dumbfounded.]

.. D... Demons...?

[He looks around, as if just saying the name will summon them.]

How... bad?

How bad, he asks. [ Valmont leans across the table, his tea forgotten. ] Have you ever been possessed by a demon, Ivan? Because I would suggest you avoid it if at all possible. It is not a pleasant experience.

[Raikov's face turns pale at that.]

You've been possessed...? By what? What happened...?

By a demon, I just told you. Keep up.

[ Okay, yeah, he's taking a little bit of pleasure in freaking Raikov out so bad. Misery loves company, after all. ]

What happened was, I was minding my own business a few months ago, when all of a sudden this demon - whom I'd dealt with before, and who was supposed to be dead - comes out of nowhere and possesses me. Then he decides it's a bloody wonderful idea to use my body and my vast amount of resources to attempt to free his siblings and cause a global demon apocalypse, as well as generally make my life a living hell. Picture having a demon who hates you living in your head, controlling your body, every day for months on end. [ He shudders. ] It was a nightmare.

I know that...! I meant what type.

[He listens though. Very intently. With his hand up by his mouth, he even bites at one of his nails out of nervousness. 2SPOOPY4ME, VALMONT.]

That was your first mistake! Even dealing with the demon in the first place...! You don't do stuff like that...!

A bloody great dragon, that's what type. Fire demon, I suppose is the technical term. [ A hand comes to his throat instinctively. He can still remember how it felt for his body to breathe fire. It wasn't pleasant. ]

Well, I didn't know it was going to turn out like this, did I? We had a deal, originally - I would collect some talismans for him, and he would provide me with the lost treasure of Qin Shi Huang. [ If Raikov is at all familiar with Chinese, he'll notice just how badly that name is being mangled in the pronunciation. ] That worked out well, as you've no doubt gathered.

[Despite the fact that demons are terrifying, a thought pops into his head. Dragon demon, huh...? Hmmmm....

But what Valmont says next turns all his fear into astonishment. His shoulders slump and he arches his brow. This is the look he gives to idiots. And he's looking right at one now.]

You made a deal... with a demon... Are you stupid?

Well, yes, I suppose I did, but... treasure!

[ That's a yes, Raikov. ]

Here. Let me damn my soul for all eternity at the slight chance that you, Mr. Demon, might be telling me the truth about treasure!

[ Well. When he puts it that way. ]

In hindsight, it... may not have been the wisest decision I ever made in my life.

[ BUT TREASURE ]

Considering it got you possessed, I'd say so.

[He shakes his head.]

I can't believe you... I like money and all but... to make a deal with a demon? No thanks.

Would it make things any better if I told you the possession was accidental? As he told it, he was aiming for someone else at the time. I just... happened to be in the way. [ Master of timing, this one.

Oh, Raikov. You don't like money like V likes money. Very few people hold that dubious honor. ]

I suppose. Doesn't help your cause any though... Gorynych.

What did you just call me - ?!

[ No, seriously, what did you just call him? That better not be some kind of Russian insult. ]

Handsome. I called you handsome.

[ufufufufu~]

Oh.

[ He preens a little. How kind of Raikov to notice. ]

Well then. Carry on.

[Raikov's glad Valmont's not good at reading his expression because he's practically beaming.]

That's a radical topic change, don't you think?

[ He's just smiling at how hot Valmont is. It's okay. Everyone does it. ]

I'm sorry, what is?

Demons possessing you to your beauty.

You brought it up.

[ For once. ]

Well, yes... but we were still discussing your lack of intelligence in dealing with demons.

I think I preferred it when you were complimenting me. Can we go back to that?

Very well... If you have nothing more to tell me on the matter.

[He pauses.]

... We should buy a mirror for the bedroom.

I am sorry for not giving you more ammunition with which to insult me.

...A mirror? [ We certainly are changing the subject a lot, aren't we. ] Why a mirror? [ You wouldn't be making fun of him would you ]

You're forgiven.

And why a mirror? So we can fuck in front of it and see ourselves.

[Smirk.]

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